How To Tell Your Parents You Won’t be Using “Their Guy” For Home Renovations


If you’re an older adult, it can be hard to still be treated like a child. After all, if you’ve been living on your own since college, you probably feel like you’re less in need of parenting and more in need of some casual advice about navigating adulthood every once in a while. That being said, if you’re buying your first home, your parents may really start laying on the advice, since homeownership is such a big step for many.

Matters can get even more complicated if you’re buying a fixer-upper, as is more common in today’s economy. After all, the housing market is much different than when your parents were your age, and renovating your own home could give you the opportunity to truly customize your house and make it exactly what you want. At the same time, this process may bring up uncomfortable conversations where your parents insist on you using their trusted handyman for repairs or work. Here are a few ways to let your parents gently know that you’re not interested in using “their guy” for renovations.

Bring up the cost of service.

Your parents should always respect your financial standing, so bringing up cost is always a helpful way to let your parents off gently if their preferred handyman is a bit on the expensive side. After all, if you’ve just purchased a new home, it’s financially prudent to stick to a budget, and that includes your planned renovations as well as any unforeseen emergencies that may arise. Of course, if their go-to guy is much less expensive than the options you’re considering, you may not be able to use this reason. However, in this sort of situation, it could be worth mentioning that you want high-quality craftsmanship and aren’t certain that their preferred person is able to provide that kind of service.

Talk about the qualifications that are important to you.

Sometimes, all it takes is a carefully prepared list of qualifications you’re looking for from a contractor to get your parents off your back. Everything from years of experience to the ability to work with gutters, roof repair, and siding could be a reason to pick your choice over your parents’ guy. For example, if you’re looking for a local Baldwin roofer, you may find that some roofing contractors have much more to offer you as a property owner than whoever your parents think you should use. When you get a free estimate from the contractor you’re interested in, be sure to ask about other services they might be able to offer you, such as skylight installation and other customized solutions. It may even be worth seeing how quickly they can get the job done since time is often another factor you can use to justify making your own decisions instead of defaulting to your parents’ wishes.

Be polite but firm.

Once you’ve appropriately prepared yourself with the information you need to let your parents down, it’s important to be polite. Recognize that your parents are only trying to help out and acting from their own experiences. They’re likely excited about you having your own place, and want to feel like they’re a part of making it a great home.

By being polite, you can clearly establish that you appreciate their recommendation and understand that he might be a good contractor for their needs, but that you have different priorities in your search and won’t be using their recommendation. It’s also worth remembering that, especially if their preferred roof repair expert is a friend who doesn’t have as many years of experience as the contractor you’re going with, you don’t need to shame him either. The last thing you want to do is offend anyone in this situation, as that sort of drama gets in the way of you renovating your home in a timely manner.